Yesterday I went to the retinal specialist, Dr. Templar (he’s a bit of a saint), for my second of what I hope will not be too many more vitreal eyeball injections. Ugh.
So while I’m waiting in the doctor’s lobby, I notice that he has a fishtank with some very large fish in it. Okay, looking at fish is a very peaceful way to pass the time. Heck, how many people out there want to get a fishing pole and a carton of red worms and go out to the lake for some nibblers?
Yeah, it’s still too cold for nibblers…
And I’m staring at the fish in the aquarium, and all of a sudden I’m greeted by what has to be the ugliest fish I’ve ever seen in my life. This fish is FUG-LY. It looks like it bumped into the ugly coral and tried swimming through it to get away.
Anyways, after having a staring contest with Mr. Ugly, Dr. Templar called me in for my eye injection. First, his assistant dabbed my eye with some numbing agents, then they dropped in a few squirts of yellow antiseptic. Then came the needle.
Yes, I know. I cringe every time I think about it.
But a moment or two after the injection, I noticed something strange. As my eye was readjusting to the medicines that were injected in me, I saw what appeared to be a dark black bubble in my field of vision.
“Doctor Templar,” I said, “something’s wrong here.”
“What do you see?”
“There’s a big black bubble.”
“Don’t worry. It will go away.”
Five minutes later.
It was still there. When I looked down, it actually centered into my field of vision. As I looked from left to right, the black bubble bounced boldly into my brightness, bothering and bugging and bewildering me.
“It’s still there, Doctor Templar.”
“Now don’t you worry. It will go away soon. This can’t be the worst thing you’ve dealt with this week.”
Really? Let me tell you about the day I had last Saturday …
As I left the doctor’s office, I stopped to take one more gander at the aquarium. That big ugly fish swam over and gave me what must have been the equivalent of a fish stinkeye. Okay, buddy. Just wait until Friday, you and me are going to a little place called Ted’s…
I drove home. The black bubble was still bouncing in my field of vision. It wasn’t painful … it was just annoying and frustrating.
Again, just like last Saturday.
I went to do my domestic chores – clothes aren’t going to wash themselves – and yes, the black bubble was visible all night. In the wash, in the dryer, when I folded my clothes. Yes, I do know how to fold my clothes. No, I don’t fold my clothes in “wad” patterns. Try again.
After a quick view of WebMD – which, after I read the diagnoses, I discovered that I have some sort of rare, incurable and fatal disease (I think it’s called Big Ugly Fish Face Syndrome), I learned that the black bubble is just leftover medicines from the injection, and that they will dissipate from my eye within 24 hours.
Okay, black bubble … you’re on the clock.
I used my wristwatch as a measuring gauge – I was able to raise my wrist until the watch face was completely obscured by the black bubble.
By noon, the watch was as high as my chest.
By 3:00 p.m., the watch was as high as my stomach.
By 6:00 p.m, the watch was as high as my hips. The dot was actually shrinking.
Okay, I guess I can handle these eye injections. I have to. There’s no other way around it.
I guess that old saying is true.
Black bubbles in your eyes may go away … but ugly on a fish will always stay.